Sticky
Seven Yrs Later are stories on change, in dialogue with Seven Yrs Ago.
conscious effort counts
Self-prescription:
you can be inside
become a part of
not existin
reconcile with the
lot of fragments
yet conscious effort counts
admit a Pandora’s box
remember resources
figure out
how to call you
before the dawn
they kill themselves
but don’t perish
emptyhanded.
that same fucked upness
is worth a level
so open the old new won’t matter
See the Post-its here. Cut from Notes to Self:
“maybe it’s the conscious effort that counts”
“The notebook can help me tap into that sadness one last time before I figure out how to be happy.”
must have been very good
the picture of me and my mom
and my dad
forcibly point
to their best
an overly high pain tolerance
as big things do.
eventually
we work thru it
new identities
a way to go in
blaming the people
fighting telling understanding
I will pay for as much as my pay will let me.
I’m asking you
do you want to sling it back?
it’s possible
that I forgive you
for me and for us
doesn’t mean my emotions and thoughts were
wholly imagined blanks
like hot chocolate
gestures drip
today impelled me to burst.
she dealt with it pretty well
just in my room or whatever
must have been very good at coping.
must have been very good at acting.
See the Post-its here. Cut from Notes to Self:
“I want them to understand me. I haven’t let them.”
“I am your kid, but I’m also an adult and a person.”
“And maybe that is what holds things together, that undercurrent, that small but steady drip”
“She said I must have been very good at coping. I said I must have been very good at acting.”
denim coffee book photographer
Around Summer
I heartily learned that
desires and goals
break their shit
Thank God
I dressed up as a
denim coffee book photographer
I didn’t care that
it was a fine party
I brought my penis
See the Post-its here. Cut from Notes to Self:
100%
my problem?
I want to marry
past actions,
almost preferring
embarrassing want.
I see now that I need
to show love
you’ve got one
less person
to take room
100%
caring
mercilessly
is an instinct
See the Post-its here. Cut from Notes to Self:
A big thing rolling
Sometimes noble truths
and good ol’ ideas
prevent moving backward.
A big thing rolling
between my bathroom and my bedroom and dwelling
12 notions
that tethered me
arrive aloud
then in
symbiotic silence
How must it feel
as a work in hope
to regularly do great things
convinced they’re normal?
I suppose what makes
naked intelligence
fucking weird
is even the majority
of a first glance
drops depth on me all the time
See the Post-its here. Cut from Notes to Self:
“What every generation needs are both”
“I’ve been seeing myself for the first time.”