"Will hurt you for sure, but at same time, maybe that will help kill it for you"
Notes to Self are long-form journal entries posted in full. See Seven Yrs Ago for thread. Read First Love and His Wife which includes this entry. I was 20 in late 2013.
IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER
1) Jason has a girlfriend
because obviously
BUT Good because
He’s learned to commit
He’s being good to her, which is what a girl/woman deserves = a guy who loves her and takes care of her
2) You still like him BEYOND all logic + reasoning
He wasn’t good to you
Would never admit he liked you and was shady in general
SO perhaps the problem, on my end, is me still liking him so
You find that for you to get over him, he needs to be totally out of your life or totally in it
There’s (sorta) 3 options:
1) Banish yourself out.
Good news for his girlfriend cause you can commit to this
Bad news: you’ll be bitter and hate him and vice versa
Same time bitterness and hate come from same emotional place as disappointment and desire so it can backfire and be “absence makes the heart grow fonder”
2) Continue friendliness but no 1 on 1 time, and no talks of love lives
Safest, some contact but not enough
Kinda pussyish and will either tip in 2 directions
3) Be as best friendly as you can be. Include talks of love lives
Will hurt you for sure, but at same time, maybe that will help kill it for you
Will always be around so can start to take for granted (another way of distancing)
Will have him as a person and friend again. Which, let’s face it, is someone you wish was around sometimes.
Can also backfire into liking each other or disliking BUT
Will require a lot of self-trust
SO with all these options, here’s what I can say, commit to:
1) You have a girlfriend. Even though I am not happy for myself, I am happy for you and I gotta be honest and say I would do the same thing as you would if the opportunity presented itself, you know, dating someone else great.
2) Because I think you’re doing well with your girlfriend, I just think that if I was in that position and hah I was, that you should do right by her. And because even though I don’t know her, or like her or whatever, I have to respect her and human beings and I would not make a move on you, ask for you back, anything. Done.
Point to me? How much of a friendship am I aiming for?
1) You will not make Jason a cheater, you will respect that he has a girlfriend, you will respect her as a human being and you do not want to come between them
2) So I’m going to have to get over this. Which is the best possible way? I don’t know. What would make things easier?