"How to Stop a Bully"
Notes to Self are longer journal entries from Seven Yrs Ago. I was 21 in early 2014.
How to Stop a Bully
Call her out on her shit
what she does to you
how you haven’t done anything to her
how she is riling you up on purpose
how you have a big heart and she doesn’t have one at all.
In public, in front of her friends?
shame her → she gets stronger, more antagonistic OR backs off
By herself, corner her
don’t act like you’re crazy
don’t yell
don’t namecall + get to her level
tell her exactly what she’s doing
What does that make her? A bitch. A hater.
LOGIC
Overall, you’re not better than her, but there’s no way she’s better than you, and you’re not going to let her make you feel any less than you are.
She does it for the applause, to keep her throne in the Empire of Fear
Corner her, make her listen. If she doesn’t, “shame” her in public as articulately as possible
How you know you’re great and how you do that not by tearing people down
What do you know about her?
She likes the attention
She gets her kicks from tearing at people
Call her out on those things and how you get people by doing the right thing. She’s terribly insecure….
What does she say about you?
Correct her by saying what you really do, self-empowerment, not disintegrating the other (better wording)
Tear at her arguments then tear her apart. Tell her how her arguments are invalid ‘cause you’re great and she can’t shame you, she can’t touch you and if that doesn’t work, tell her what you have that she doesn’t
real friends
a heart
Those will grow.
Deconstruct her arguments, her labels for you. She’s poaching on your insecurities; you need to show her that you are secure → You need to earn respect. If hers is impossible because she stubbornly refuses to listen to reason and she sees the world through green-eyed glasses (jealousy, hate etc.), say the things that command respect from other people, rational people (her “friends” possibly, your friends (given), people in public etc.)
You’re asking her to leave you alone, you’re telling her.
Why DPS will work temporarily
School freezes time + emotions so possible she’ll still be doing this till you graduate
She fancies herself above others, above rules etc.
Fight betw. you and her. Even if DPS worked, imagine that she’s gonna talk shit about you when you’re not around for the rest of her life. You need to face this head-on.
(Don’t stop for breath; she likes to talk. Say everything you want to say first before listening to her if you want….)
What do you do when someone fucks with you? Kick their ass.
But the mature way to do it? Make your ass untouchable then hit ‘em where it hurts.
You need to make her feel like she needs to get on your level: she needs to get her shit together. This way as long as you make it clear that you are untouchable, whatever she says after that, act like it doesn’t bother you at all because you know you’re great. Then she’ll get insecure + bored and move onto the next victim.
We’re past Kumbaya.
For commentary seven years later, go here.