"EATER: Banish feelings of guilt, do what you can, but not at the expense of your own health or sanity"
Notes to Self are long-form journal entries posted in full. See Seven Yrs Ago for excerpts. I was 20 in late 2013.
HOW TO DEAL W/ NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
(Feat. The Internet)
1) “How To Kill A Thought In A Good Way” – Alice G. Walton, Forbes 2012
Mindfulness – Approach your thoughts like a curious child. Instead of repressing them or pushing them away, investigate them without reacting to them.
This can mean asking ‘Woah, where did this come from?’ or ‘What does my body feel like when I have this thought?’
“By diving in with curiosity instead of pushing them away, they become less compelling and less of a problem. They don’t grab me nearly as much anymore.”
Disenchant yourself with the negative chatter.
“It doesn’t have to be serious and grim. It should be joyful and playful.”
2) “How to Tame the Monsters in Your Mind” – Louise Atkinson, Daily Mail 2010
*ANT – Automatic Negative Thought
Whenever you feel frustrated etc, write down your ANT and then write down what your ANT-eater would say to that ANT to kill it.
9 Species of ANTS + ANTeater solutions
1. All or Nothing ← Real talk prob mine
—Black and white thinking that leads you to think everything is either all good or all bad. Warped logic that leads you to believe that if you miss one day at the gym, you have no self-discipline and could give up the idea of exercise completely
EATER: Force yourself to acknowledge that one slip-up doesn’t mean you should give up. If you skip the gym one day, make sure you go the next.
2. Using “always, never, every time, or everyone”
—These words make it sound like you have no control over your actions e.g. I will never lose weight.
EATER: Never say never—put a ban on overgeneralized words.
3. Focusing on negatives
EATER: Try to put a positive spin on anything you can to raise your mood.
4. Thinking with feelings [negative assumingly]
—When you assume your feeling about something is true, you may not question it
EATER: Think with logic instead—look for evidence to support and challenge your view
5. Guilt
—Words “should, must, ought to, have to” allows feelings of guilt to build up and start to control your behavior
EATER: Banish feelings of guilt, do what you can, but not at the expense of your own health or sanity and use the word “should” only when it suits you e.g. work productivity without killing yourself over it and still doing it
6. Labeling
—Negative labels take away control over your actions. Defeatist attitude = tendency to give up easily
EATER: Avoid labeling yourself and flip labels
7. Fortune-telling
—Predicting the worst even though you don’t know what will happen. Your brain is so powerful it can actually make these terrible things more likely to happen. Ultra stress = depressed immune system
EATER: What right do you have to be a fortune teller? You don’t know what the future holds. Instead be curious about the future in a positive way
8. Mind-reading
EATER: Like the future, you also have no idea what others are thinking. People are not always judging you
9. Blaming others
—You need to take responsibility for your own success and failures. You are responsible for how your life turns out, not others
If an ANT is really hitting ya, write it down, then ask
- Is this ANT actually true?
- How does this ANT make you feel?
- Who would you be and how would you feel without this ANT?
- Now take your original thought and turn it around and ask: Is the opposite of my original thought true?
For comments seven years later, go here.