"(which admittedly is like a painstaking growth spurt but whatever it's happening)"
Notes to Self are long-form journal entries posted in full. See Seven Yrs Ago for thread. I was 20 in late 2013.
Fate vs. Free Will: Maybe.
There is something like fate, like the universe brings you to wherever you could be as a person
“Could be” means options. At every crossroads you have choices that could affect your path to what fate can bring you. It’s like you have a handful of fates.
ex. I got into 3 colleges: Tufts, NAU, USC
If I chose any of those others, as I vividly imagine them,
Tufts — happy, probably would be gay, chiller, friendlier off the bat but perhaps not as tough and not as rapidly self-discovering as I have been this semester (which admittedly is like a painstaking growth spurt but whatever it’s happening)
NAU — bored, too chill, probably hatred of things increased 100%. Still chill though
It’s like...despite the fact that I don’t know what I will do to sustain myself in a practical sense etc. I was meant to come to USC, I was meant to go to architecture school and I was meant to meet and have the relationships with the people I have met
It’s how I react and move from here that will inform my development as a person and for once, maybe the first time, it doesn’t have to be how I should handle a bad situation.
In fact this can be a good situation.
A
very
good
situation.
For comments seven years later, go here.