“And maybe that is what holds things together, that undercurrent, that small but steady drip”
Notes to Self are longer journal entries from Seven Yrs Ago. Read Sticky, “must have been very good” for snipped poetry. I was 20 in late 2013.
Just because I was a teenager doesn’t mean all my emotions and thoughts were invalid. They may have been more intense than they should have been at times, but they didn’t come from nowhere. They weren’t wholly imagined because you should know better than anyone that our family life was not content. Sometimes I try to look back and remember a time when I say you and Mom happy and for a long time I drew a blank. It takes a lot of time but now I do remember things. Small moments like drinking hot chocolate in the big living room, watching a movie, holding each other on the couch together. That’s what I remember—not large sweeping events but small gestures, small moments.
And maybe that is what holds things together, that undercurrent, that small but steady drip that sustains relationships, especially long ones, it’s the little things that you do for yourself and for others. Big events can define your life, “life changing moments,” but if you were to describe who you are as a person, or if someone else close was to describe you, they’d have to look at all the “little” things in between.
And really a lot of littles become a big.
For commentary seven years later, go here.