New Reasons

New Reasons

Notes to Self

Long-form journal entries posted in full. Between Seven Yrs Ago and Seven Yrs Later.

“But second, this kid is fucking smart.”

“But second, this kid is fucking smart.”

1/1/14. This entry is included in Sticky, “A big thing rolling”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 3, 2021notes to self, high school, dumb, smart, intelligence

“are they trying to pass as normal?”

“are they trying to pass as normal?”

1/1/14. This entry is included in Sticky, “A big thing rolling”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 3, 2021notes to self, artists, normal, normalcy, theories, hypotheses

“I’ve been seeing myself for the first time.”

“I’ve been seeing myself for the first time.”

1/1/14. This entry is included in Sticky, “A big thing rolling”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 3, 2021reflection, self-reflection, notes to self

“You will not perish emptyhanded.”

“You will not perish emptyhanded.”

12/29/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “conscious effort counts”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 3, 2021notes to self, depression

“What every generation needs are both”

“What every generation needs are both”

12/28/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “A big thing rolling”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 3, 2021notes to self, theories, hypotheses, generation

“It’s not your problem and it shouldn’t be mine either.”

“It’s not your problem and it shouldn’t be mine either.”

12/25/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “100%”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 3, 2021notes to self, boyshit, breakups, love, self-esteem

“She said I must have been very good at coping. I said I must have been very good at acting.”

“She said I must have been very good at coping. I said I must have been very good at acting.”

12/25/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “must have been very good”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 2, 2021notes to self, depression, coping, divorce, parents

“And maybe that is what holds things together, that undercurrent, that small but steady drip”

“And maybe that is what holds things together, that undercurrent, that small but steady drip”

12/23/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “must have been very good”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 2, 2021notes to self, depression, parents, divorce

“Fuck them, I’m making my own story”

“Fuck them, I’m making my own story”

12/22/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “denim coffee book photographer”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 2, 2021notes to self, mpdg, manic pixie dream girl, boyshit

“I am your kid, but I’m also an adult and a person.”

“I am your kid, but I’m also an adult and a person.”

12/21/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “must have been very good”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 2, 2021notes to self, dad, depression, parents

“The notebook can help me tap into that sadness one last time before I figure out how to be happy.”

“The notebook can help me tap into that sadness one last time before I figure out how to be happy.”

12/20/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “conscious effort counts”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 2, 2021notes to self, journaling, sadness, depression

“I want them to understand me. I haven’t let them.”

“I want them to understand me. I haven’t let them.”

12/19/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “must have been very good”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 2, 2021notes to self, depression, divorce, parents

“maybe it’s the conscious effort that counts”

“maybe it’s the conscious effort that counts”

12/19/13. This entry is included in Sticky, “conscious effort counts”

Nicole RapatanJanuary 2, 2021notes to self, depression

"one after another, I see stem, I see branch, I see tree, I see forest, I see fucking Alaska."

"one after another, I see stem, I see branch, I see tree, I see forest, I see fucking Alaska."

12/14/13.

Nicole RapatanDecember 14, 2020sevenyrsago

"(which admittedly is like a painstaking growth spurt but whatever it's happening)"

"(which admittedly is like a painstaking growth spurt but whatever it's happening)"

12/14/13.

Nicole RapatanDecember 14, 2020sevenyrsago, sevenyrs, groworgo

"I have a good circle of people around me that I think have problems of their own."

"I have a good circle of people around me that I think have problems of their own."

12/11/13.

Nicole RapatanDecember 11, 2020sevenyrsago, notes to self

"Is life about not caring your way to the next level?"

"Is life about not caring your way to the next level?"

12/8/13.

Nicole RapatanDecember 8, 2020sevenyrsago, journaling, depression, apathy, mentalhealthmatters, mental health matters

"I'm crying for all the times I should have cried but didn't"

"I'm crying for all the times I should have cried but didn't"

12/5/13.

Nicole RapatanDecember 5, 2020sevenyrsago, journaling, crying, depression, mentalhealthmatters, mental health matters

"EATER: Banish feelings of guilt, do what you can, but not at the expense of your own health or sanity"

"EATER: Banish feelings of guilt, do what you can, but not at the expense of your own health or sanity"

11/30/13.

Nicole RapatanNovember 30, 2020notes to self, negative thinking, positive thinking, ants, anteaters, mental health matters

"Do I want to/can I pause my life here for 5 months to go out of the country?"

"Do I want to/can I pause my life here for 5 months to go out of the country?"

11/25/13.

Nicole RapatanNovember 25, 2020notes to self, sevenyrsago, travel, escapism